His Place
by TMNT-Queen
Summary: He wanted to pull his brother close and never let this happen again. He wanted to know if it had happened before. Surely it hadn't happened before? Surely he would have noticed? (Based off a prompt, and - loosely - TMNT 2k18. Rated T for language.)
1. 1 - His Place

_A/N: Based off of a prompt I found. Figured it would go better with the 2k18 'verse, and I like the thought of Raph being friends with Leo until their paths diverge too much._

_This doesn't really follow the "traditional" 2k18 storyline and dynamic. It's following a dynamic more like that in_ Goblin Kat KC_'s story (titled "Stashed Away" - it's really good, by the way. Go read it. *wink*)._

**His Place**

"For the last time, would you just _tell me what happened?!" _

There was so much pain in the smaller turtle's blue eyes as he took a deep breath as if to steel himself. He shook his head. "I can't."

Raph's temper strained against the very tight leash it was on, threatening to snap. "Dammit, Leo! I'm supposed to be your leader! I'm supposed to protect the clan and I can't even protect _you_." He raised a gentle, shaking hand to his brother's face and ghosted it across the bruise under Leo's right eye. It looked like a bloodstain, as red as it was currently - though Donnie insisted it would fade in time. "Is this...what _happened, _Leo?"

"It doesn't matter." He wrapped his arms around his carapace, wanting desperately to hide in his shell, away from the prying gaze of his larger sibling.

"Don't tell me it doesn't matter! Tell me what happened." Nothing. Not so much as a peep. "That's an order, Leonardo."

Leo couldn't help the words that came out of his mouth next. He was hurting, and that hurt needed a release...even if that release was a fight with the person who was the most concerned about him. "Oh, so you're throwing around orders now?"

"I didn't mean-" Raphael wanted to roar in frustration. He wanted to pull Leo close and never let this happen again. He wanted to know if it had happened before. _Oh, no_. Surely it hadn't happened before? Surely he would've noticed? "Leo," he tried again, softer. Gentler. "Please, tell me. As your friend."

Leo swallowed and looked down, ducking away from Raph's touch. "As your friend might be the problem," he said, barely audible even in the silence of his brother's bedroom. "You're the leader. I'm...I'm just the screw-up. The goof. The loudmouth. We're not kids anymore, Raphael. It's...I should know my place."

"Know your _place?" _the brawler repeated, feeling his anger grow hotter, yet fighting to keep it under control. But Leo sensed it and flinched further away. "What do you mean, know your-"

_Fuck._

The bruise. That was the reason, wasn't it? That's why it happened.

"Who-"

Now he _did _pull away, completely this time. His blue eyes turned pale and cold, like the ocean in wintertime, and his lower lip trembled. "I can't. I-I can't tell you that. I've already said too much. He's going to find out and then...and then he'll-"

A sob broke from Leo's throat and his knees buckled. He would've hit the floor if Raph hadn't caught him. For a long time the two just sat there, Leo shaking and crying against his brother's plastron. Raphael, for his part, did his best to breathe evenly. As soon as he found out which of his family members was doing this to his little brother - his best friend - he was going to rip them apart.

But for now, all he could do was hold him and whisper useless words that did nothing to reassure the shattered teen in his arms.

**A/N: Please leave a review on this. I've been wanting to write something from that prompt for a long time, and it only came to mind tonight. I might continue this one. Not sure yet. **


	2. 2 - Falling Farther

**Falling Farther**

"Hey, Don, are you, uh...are you busy right now?"

In answer, the purple-banded turtle merely grunted, almost wholly preoccupied with whatever gadget he had in hand.

But Raph took it as a yes and stepped into the lab, trying not to look as self-conscious and worried as he felt. Still, his hands were clenched into fists at his sides as he walked over to lean against his brother's desk in an effort to get the lankier turtle's attention.

"What's up?" Donnie asked distractedly.

Raph sighed. "Have you noticed anything _off _about Leo recently?"

"Can't say that I have."

"Anything that would lead you to believe that he's bein'...I dunno...abused by someone here?"

Now _that _got Don's attention. His hands stilled on his project and then he was pulling off his goggles and turning to face his brother. "What makes you ask?"

_The bruise on his face, for starters, _he wanted to snap. Instead he took a breath and fiddled with the wrappings on his right hand. "He just seems kinda different, s'all. Distant-like. I mean I know he ain't always a team player or anything but the past couple'a weeks he's been really cold towards everybody."

Donnie _hmm_ed. "If he has been, I haven't noticed. I've been locked up in my lab with the Tachyon Project all week. Sorry, Raph."

The brawler gritted his teeth and barely refrained from slamming his fist down on the table. "Come on, Donnie. You gotta have seen _something._"

"Is this about the bruise on his face?" The silence was answer enough and Don shook his head. "He told me it was just from patrol last night."

_Patrol my ass. _"He's lying to you."

A strange look passed through Donnie's eyes, almost like confusion...maybe even suspicion. He recovered quickly, but not before Raph saw. He _knew_ something.

"Donatello..." It was a warning, and a threat, and they both knew it.

"We-ell...I may have overheard a conversation between him and Mikey a couple days ago. He was saying that he couldn't play video games because he had to go train."

"S'nothing unusual about that," the red-clad ninja replied, crossing his arms. "He's always passing up fun stuff to sharpen that sword of his."

"Yeah, but this time was different. He told Mikey that he hadn't been training hard enough and he had to be absolutely perfect because _someone _was watching."

_There _it was. Another clue that might just help solve the mystery of what was happening to their brother.

Raph pondered the new information, tuning the rest of the world out. Someone was watching? Nobody would've been near the dojo during Leo's training session except...except-

Dread shot through his veins and he realized with horrifying clarity who'd put that bruise on Leo's face. The world seemed to shake on its foundations and his knees threatened to buckle. Slowly, he became aware that Donnie was talking to him again, asking questions that he couldn't hear past the roaring in his ears. Slowly, Raph dragged his mind back into reality and focused his suddenly watery gaze on his brother.

"-aph, are you okay? Talk to me."

"I'm fine," he replied hoarsely, clearly not fine at all.

"Maybe you should sit down-"

"I said I'm _fine!" _Raph yanked his arm out of Donnie's grip and backed away. "I just...I-I need to think." To make sense of it all in his mind. To think of a logical reason _why. _

To figure out how something this bad could've happened right under his nose without him knowing. 

_Leo...I'm so sorry._


	3. 3 - Drowning Boy

_A/N: Most of you've already guessed who the abuser is. Good on you. ;)_

**Drowning Boy**

Leo could taste blood in his mouth, wet and coppery and wrong. He braced himself once more, as best he could, nearly hyperventilating behind the sodden fabric wedged against his tongue. His heart pounded against his chest plates so loudly that he was absolutely certain it echoed around the dojo.

There was a breeze on his face as something moved near him; he flinched in anticipation of the blow that was to come.

His captor struck without warning and stepped away again within seconds, leaving nothing but a painful stinging sensation on the turtle's left bicep. Leo down hard on the gag to keep from crying out as he was hit again and again in quick succession. Today's method of torture was a wooden training bokken - no edge, but the blunted, solid wood would leave considerable damage behind. On good days, he walked away with nothing more than bruises. On bad days...

He didn't think about the bad days.

Eventually, the bokken ceased to rain down, but its target remained on the floor - he must've dropped to his knees at some point, though he couldn't remember exactly when. His whole body ached and he was pretty sure that his right arm was bleeding fairly heavily.

"Stand up."

Leonardo _tried, _he really did, but he was just so _tired _and his legs wouldn't respond-

_CRACK!_

The bokken slammed into his plastron and something gave way in a bolt of white-hot agony. A whimper clawed its way out of the blindfolded mutant's trembling lips but he was hauled to his feet anyway.

"You are _pathetic," _came the snarled accusation. "And you think you are fit to be a member of the team? You cannot even stand on your own."

_I'm sorry-_

The air shifted again and Leo closed his eyes under the blindfold, awaiting a blow that never came.

"Clean up your mess and then go to your room. I do not wish to see your face again until morning training."

Rice-paper doors slid shut with a whisper and then he was alone. He removed his blindfold and exchanged the bloodied floor mats with clean ones, stashing the old mats away until he could properly dispose of them.

He made it all the way up the stairs to his bedroom, where he locked the door and collapsed onto the cold ground. And then, Hamato Leonardo wept.


	4. 4 - A Moment of Truth

**4 - A Moment of Truth**

_Cold leather and steel dragging lazily across his unprotected skin. The whisper of claws on his carapace. _

_"Remember, Leonardo. Whatever happens to them will also happen to you."_

_"Hai, Sensei."_

_"Are their lives worth more than your own?"_

_Īe__, Sensei." _ No. Never.

_"Very good." The whip withdrew from his body as Splinter stepped backwards. "Bring them home."_

"Yo, Leo, you ready?"

Raph's voice snapped the blue-banded turtle from his thoughts and he blinked, nodding. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm...I'm good. Let's go."

His hesitancy drew stares from his brothers but he ignored them and led the way into the tunnels. It was their regular weekly patrol - weekly, since Splinter had decided that they'd slimmed down the ranks of the enemy enough already...and that nightly patrols led to far more injuries.

Deep down, Leonardo was grateful for less patrols. Less injuries for his brothers meant less for him - his body still ached from the beating it had taken a few nights ago. He swallowed a sigh and pushed open the manhole cover, quickly climbing through and scanning the area before motioning the others forward. It had become second nature to him to take the lead when they were going up to the surface, at least until it was time to actually start patrolling, and Raph was more than happy to give him a little leeway in that part of the job.

As soon as the four were up on a rooftop, however, Raph stepped forward. "Alright, team. Tonight we split up. Don, Mike, you guys take east. Leo and I will take west. We meet at The Dragon at midnight. Understood?"

"Gotcha, bro." Mikey beamed at him before dragging Donnie away by the arm - but that didn't stop the genius from looking over his shoulder and catching the leader's gaze with a question in his russet eyes.

Raph nodded almost imperceptibly before turning and leading his other sibling in the opposite direction. Whatever was really happening, he was going to find out the truth. Tonight.

* * *

"So..." the hothead began after the pair had been running for a while. "Anything interesting happen lately?"

Leo glanced sidelong at him, expression guarded, but didn't so much as miss a step. "No. Well, not since Mikey painted your shell blue."

It had been a harmless enough prank, and easy to rectify. Leonardo would never confess that he himself had a part in it - after all, the only one with good access to art materials was the lithest of the turtles, and Mikey knew as much; he'd come begging late one night, much to Leo's chagrin. The next evening, there had been a bag chock-full of paint and brushes laying on Mikey's bed.

Raph snorted and shook his head but smiled fondly. "The lil' punk. I'm still gonna get him back for that."

The blue-banded turtle let his own lips turn up in a half-smile. "He keeps a stash of chocolate hidden behind his headboard," he offered quietly. The wolfish grin from his oldest brother was reward enough for that allowing that to slip.

"Huh...it'd be unfortunate if that were to go missing, wouldn't it?"

"Sure would."

They fell into silence again, but it was an easier silence this time. Lighter. It almost made Leo want to tell him. Almost. But that would ruin the truce they'd somehow arrived at, and he cherished the truce more than the truth.

Leo didn't realize he'd zoned out until he registered the large hand on his bicep and the loud voice in his ear. His eyes widened and he shot backwards onto the ground, scrambling on all fours to put his back against the nearby AC unit. His heart climbed into his throat, and his breathing was erratic and harsh, and it took three full minutes to bring himself back to reality. Three full minutes to realize that it was Raphael in front of him. Raphael, not Splinter. Raphael was the one staring at him with worry and fear.

"Leo," the bigger turtle was saying, "Leo. Hey, look at me, bro. You're okay. You're okay, I promise. Just take it easy, alright?"

"Raph…" The word came out weak and watery and he _hated _it. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

Raph crouched down in front of him, reaching out with a gentle hand, but he flinched back anyway. Green eyes softened and a sigh escaped the leader's mouth. "What's going on, Leo?"

If there was ever a moment to tell him, it was now. "I-"

"TURTLES!"

Icy dread landed in Leonardo's stomach like a rock. He knew that voice. He knew it all too well. And so did Raphael. The red-banded mutant stiffened and his arm muscles twitched; his hands automatically went to his weapons and he turned around, eyes narrowing.

There, on the other side of the roof, was Tiger Claw. And he had a gun to Mikey's head.

**A/N: Yeah...I put TC in here. I actually kinda liked him as a villain, and I feel like they could use some more...ah...normal villains in ROTTMNT. Anyone else? Maybe?**

**Okayyyyyy….could you just leave a review for me? Please? I really want to read some reactions. :D**

**~Queen**


	5. 5 - An Uneven Exchange

**5 - An Uneven Exchange**

Leo forced himself to stand on shaking legs, swallowed back the bile that burned his throat - and if he leaned a little too heavily on the AC unit, who was to say?

His hand moved to the handle of his _odachi _and he partially drew the blade even as Raphael stepped forward. "Let him go, Tiger Claw."

The enormous cat mutant fairly _purred _in mockery and delight, pressing the gun harder into Mikey's temple. "Not yet, young cub. There is something I want from you, and _he-" _Mikey squeaked as his captor's finger tightened on the trigger. "-will help me get it."

Raph gritted his teeth and started to sink into a crouch. Two of his brothers were accounted for, but one was still missing. "Where's Donnie?"

"The smart one?" Tiger Claw looked amused at the question. "Bleeding out somewhere on a rooftop."

"You son of a-"

_No. _Under the wrappings and compression sleeves that Splinter forced him to wear, Leo's body still ached from days ago; he wasn't certain he could handle anything more. "What do you want?" he interrupted, thanking any listening deities that his voice wasn't as shaky as his legs.

"That should have been obvious, young one. I want your rat master."

"He's not here."

Tiger Claw smiled, then, a fanged grin that sent chills down the blue-masked turtle's spine. "Then I will simply take your brother as insurance that he _will _come."

Mikey squeaked in fear and Leo stepped forward. He may not've been the leader, but he could still protect his brothers - and he'd be damned if Tiger Claw hurt one scale on Michelangelo's head. "Take me."

The rooftop went silent for a full minute. Raph whipped around to glare at his younger brother. "What are you doing?" he hissed.

There would be hell to pay later, but he had to do this. "I'm doing what you can't." He dropped his sword to the rooftop, along with his extra knives and smaller hidden weapons. Then he walked across the gravel to his enemy's side and held out his hands, palms upwards. He could feel Raphael behind him, a raging storm of emotion. But his baby brother was three inches from him, and there were tears in his blue eyes, and all Leo wanted to do was hold him close and whisper that everything would be alright. "Take me," he said again, quietly.

A few tense moments passed and then the cat nodded, shoving Mikey across the roof into Raph's waiting arms. He latched onto Leo's shell and sent a glare at the others. "Do not follow us."

Tiger Claw's jetpack ignited and then Leo was flying away, watching his brothers grow smaller and smaller. His eyes stung with tears and he silently hoped that somehow, he might see them again.

* * *

They landed outside of a large apartment complex - a nice one, at that - and Tiger Claw led his captive into one of the buildings. A couple minutes of walking and they were upstairs, standing in front of an innocuous, blue-painted door. "Go in," the mercenary ordered gruffly.

Leonardo's heart pounded at the thought of what might lie beyond the wooden barrier. Chains? Racks? A waterboard? He wanted to laugh, suddenly. Nothing could be worse than what he already dealt with at home.

Feeling a little reckless and infinitely less frightened, Leo opened the door to reveal...a very nice living room and kitchen. There was a hallway to the right and a staircase to the left. He let out a quiet scoff, silently berating himself for allowing his imagination to run so wild, and Tiger Claw pushed him forward into the apartment and locked the door.

"You will not try to escape," the larger mutant told him, and he simply shook his head. Tiger Claw grunted, apparently satisfied, and led him down the hallway towards a door at the end. He opened the door and pushed his captive into the small, empty room. "I will return with questions for you," Tiger Claw promised, leveling a stare at him. "Do not think I do not suspect trickery."

"No tricks," Leo replied, steadily meeting the amber gaze.

After what felt like an eternity, the door closed and locked, and Leonardo was left alone. He sank onto the floor and put his carapace against the wall, burying his face in his knees. Fiery pain shot across his arms and legs as all the adrenaline in his system finally dissipated.

He wearily pulled off the black compression sleeves, suddenly feeling overheated, and threw them into a crumpled heap in the corner. His bruises glared back at him, contrasting blue and purple and black against his emerald skin.

What would Sensei do to him once he was home? Would they even attempt to rescue him at all? He knew that his teacher didn't really care whether he lived or died; what did it matter if he ever walked through Lair's entrance again?

_That's _why he'd offered himself in place of his youngest brother. Leo Splinter could live without, but not Mikey. Never Mikey. Mikey their father doted on. Mikey he loved.

And yet...and yet Leo wished that he could see all of his brothers again, one last time. _They _loved him. Or, at least, they'd never claimed otherwise.

Tears swam in Leonardo's gaze again, and this time he made no move to stop them. No one was around to see him cry.

Hamato Leonardo was well and truly alone.


	6. 6 - An Unexpected Offer

**An Unexpected Offer**

Three long hours later, the door creaked open and Tiger Claw stepped into the small, barren guest room. Leonardo lifted his face, revealing red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes and a tear-soaked mask. "Are you going to kill me?" he asked hoarsely.

Tiger Claw crossed his arms and studied his captive. "The look on your face suggests that you are asking me to, turtle." He was missing something here, and it was maddening. Ignorance tended to lead to losing - that was his experience, anyway. He had seen the way that Leonardo flinched when his oldest brother approached; he had seen the wild fear in the boy's eyes and the way he shook with fright at even the most gentle of touches. A few more moments passed before he noticed the ugly bruising that littered Leo's emerald green skin.

And then he understood. A chill ran up his spine, but he had to be certain. "What do you think your father and brothers are going to say about you getting caught by the enemy? After all, this cannot be the first time that they have had to rescue you, and it must get tiring, constantly having to haul some brat of a cub out of trouble."

Leo flinched and dropped his gaze to the floor.

_Aha. _So the larger mutant was correct. But...it didn't feel all that much like a victory, for some reason. Knowing that his adversary - and such a young one, at that, the boy was barely twenty years old! - was being hurt by someone within his own clan, his own _family_...it changed things. And suddenly, he was back in the bad days, being jeered at by humans, people who called him nasty things and threw rocks at him.

Tiger Claw sighed and crossed the room, quickly scooping the turtle up and carrying him down the hall and up the stairs to his sleeping quarters. There, he stripped Leo bare of everything except his mask and warned him not to move. He quickly ran a hot bath and lit a few sticks of incense to fill the air with a calm aura before pulling Leo into the bathroom and depositing him into the tub.

"Soak," the assassin ordered. "I will return to check on you periodically. Later, we will talk."

The bathroom door shut with a _click _and Leonardo sat in the tub, completely and utterly speechless for once in his life as he tried to figure out what just happened.

When he emerged from the bathroom after a long forty-five minutes, he found a silk robe lying on the bed and put it on, cinching it around his waist. He ventured out into the living room to find his captor sitting on the sofa with a tray of tea in front of him.

The tiger mutant held out a mug, which Leo numbly accepted, and gestured with his head for the turtle to sit. "Who is hurting you, little one?"

_I'm not little,_ the ninja would've retorted had it been a normal situation. But it wasn't a normal situation, and under the silk there were bruises and welts littered across his body. "Sensei," he whispered, unable to look at anything but his feet. The mug of tea warmed his frigid hands and gave him a little courage. "He, um...he said he was teaching me how to survive."

"This is not how a father teaches his cub, Leonardo," Tiger Claw replied gently.

"It's how mine teaches." The words came out quiet, and tense, and filled with something like shame. "It's how he's always taught. Well...taught _me, _at least."

The room fell silent as both mutants weighed the heavy thoughts on their minds. After a long while, Tiger Claw leaned forward, commanding his captive's attention.

"...I could make it stop," he offered. "I'm returning to Japan tomorrow, and I could take you with me if you wished."

For a moment, Tiger Claw saw it - raw hope blossomed in Leo's watery blue eyes and a tentative smile started to grow on his face. He could get out. He could be_ free._

And then, as if a realization had suddenly struck him, the smile disappeared. His shoulders slumped with a whisper of silk. "I...I can't," the blue-banded ninja replied softly. His voice cracked and he swallowed. "If I wasn't there, then Splinter would take his anger out on someone else. Mikey, probably. I can't...I couldn't live with myself knowing that was happening."

Admiration and something like pride welled up in Tiger Claw's heart for a minute. Yes, he was proud of this young cub. He was proud of him for protecting his brothers and asking absolutely nothing for himself in return.

"Very well," the older mutant conceded. His lips curled up in a sad smile. "You will sleep in my room tonight, and your brothers will come tomorrow to retrieve you. By the time they arrive, you will have 'gotten free' and made for the door. I will be long gone, of course."

Leo's head spun. "You...you're helping me. Why?"

"You and I are not so different, Leonardo," he said quietly. "And I would not see you hurt like I was."


	7. 7 - Prodigal

**Prodigal**

Leonardo heard his brothers when they rushed up the staircase. He'd been sitting on the living room floor for the past four hours, either unable or unwilling to move after slipping out of the silk robe and pulling his compression sleeves and gear back on.

As the apartment door crashed open, dread curled in Leo's gut where relief should have been. Donnie was missing. Oh, no, Donnie was_ missing. _

_He's gonna kill me._

Every step taken towards the Lair meant a step towards another beating.

Raphael's strong arms wrapped around his younger brother's trembling frame and Leo wanted to cry out from the physical contact. "Where is he?" the hothead demanded. "Where the hell is he? I'll rip his _face_ off-"

"Raph, I'm fine."

The words, quiet as they were, were enough to stop the budding tirade. Raph pulled back and scanned the smaller turtle's face, then nodded, apparently satisfied with the tired honesty he saw.

"We'll check you at home." If anything, it would give Raph an excuse to test his abuse theory. "Let's get going before TC shows up again."

**T.M.N.T**

Fifteen feet out from the Lair, the fear really, truly hit. Leo's blood froze in his veins and it took every bit of will he had left not to hyperventilate. As it was, his fingernails dug harshly into his big brother's arm and he came to a stop.

Raph turned around and worried green met tense blue. "Leo?"

"I... I can't do this, Raph."

"Can't do what? Leo, you're fine. It's not like that apartment, you got the whole place to use, and we'll check you over and you'll be good to go."

"You don't understand," Leo whispered frantically. Tears pricked at his eyes. Splinter was going to murder him. "I can't go in there, he'll-"

"My sons, welcome back." Cold, calculating eyes fixed on Leonardo's face and the turtle shivered. He swallowed with a suddenly dry throat and discovered that he wanted to throw up.

"Leonardo, it is good to have you back. Tonight, you will rest, but tomorrow we will begin our private training once again. I desire to see what days without training have cost you."

"Hai, Sensei," he responded with a voice much calmer than he actually felt.

_I'm going to die._


	8. 8 - Stand Against

**Stand Against**

"Again!"

Leo performed the kata once more, but his form was sloppy from exhaustion, and he wasn't entirely prepared for the steel-tipped leather to bite into the back of his calves and tear through the skin and muscle there. A whimper escaped his gritted teeth and he screwed his eyes shut in an effort to block out the pain.

"Again!"

The blue-banded ninja wanted to cry in frustration as he forced his tired eyes open, forced his shaking limbs to move through the steps. Four hours he'd been training now. Four hours he'd had to endure the cruelty of the barbed whip against his skin.

"Faster!" Splinter drew his arm back for another crack of the whip, but that's not what made Leonardo's blood run cold.

It was the pair of baby blue eyes watching through the doorway.

And standing there, with Mikey's horrified gaze on his face, Leo knew he'd failed. He'd failed to keep up the act, failed to bear it all silently enough. But most of all, he failed to _protect them. _

He could almost hear his brother's heart shatter as he realized exactly what was going on, and the younger turtle's devastated expression was like a slap to his face. He knew he should keep fighting, say something, _do something, _but his blood was frozen in his veins and his heart had dropped into his stomach and he couldn't _move _because Splinter's cold eyes were pinning him in place, silently daring him to make another mistake.

Mikey turned and fled as soundlessly as he appeared, and Leo's knees gave out with the rest of his willpower. He crumpled to the floor, cheeks flushed and heartbeat pounding in his ears.

"Did I say that you could stop?"

"I...I'm tired, Sensei," came Leo's near-silent reply. His lips trembled and he pressed them together to keep from saying anything else.

"Tired? Oh, I see. Would you like a respite, then?"

"I..."

The slap made his ears ring and he spat a mouthful of blood onto the ground as Splinter glared down at him, four feet of absolute rage. "You do not deserve one! Only good protectors earn breaks, and you left Donatello to die on a rooftop. Does a protector do that?"

The guilt and shame cut into him far deeper than the rat's words did and he dropped his gaze to the ground. "N-No, Sensei."

"Baka," Splinter hissed. "Worthless."

_Useless. Freak. Loudmouth. Crybaby._

"I'm sorry, Sensei," the turtle managed, bowing his head low. "Please, forgive me. I only thought-"

"It is not your place to think," the rat snarled. "You do exactly what I tell you to do, nothing more." He reached down and gripped the turtle's chin hard, jerking his head up so they were face-to-face. "I have taught you everything you know. Everything you are, I have made you. You are _mine." _The whip cracked across Leonardo's unprotected arms but the ninja didn't so much as breathe. All he could focus on were those tear-filled baby blues.

Twenty minutes later, it was over. Leonardo lay on the dojo floor - panting, aching, bleeding - with his eyes screwed shut and his face contorted in pain. He dragged in a shallow breath and slowly sat up, peeling his eyelids back to glance around and make certain he was alone before releasing a long-held whimper.

As quickly and quietly as his injured body would allow, the turtle cleaned up his mess and stored the old mats away with the others he had yet to dispose of. He'd have to do it soon, he knew; they'd start to smell after a while and at least one of his brothers was sure to notice.

After he'd cleaned up and turned out the light in the dojo, Leo painfully limped towards his bedroom, where he would spend another long night alone and freezing.

He never made it that far.

In front of his door - _thank God I closed that earlier -_ was Michelangelo, looking confused and afraid and hurt, and before Leo could say anything there were arms around his torso and a face was buried in his neck. "He's hurting you," Mikey cried. "_Geez_, Leo, why didn't you_ say_ anything?"

Leo had to fix this before it got any further out of hand. "He's not hurting me, Mike-"

"Like hell he's not!"

The blue-banded turtle drew back in shock, eyes going wide, and placed a shaky hand on his brother's shoulder. "Whoa, Mikey, language!" When had he started to swear?

Mikey steamrolled right over the warning. "You said he's not hurting you but you can barely _stand, _Leo! You're covered in cuts and you're bleeding and you're telling me that he _didn't hurt you?!"_

Leo hoped to whatever deity was listening that the others didn't hear any of this. "Okay, okay, calm down little brother. I'll be okay. I just need to shower and then we can talk about this, alright? Quietly."

It was a long moment before Mikey spoke again, and his eyes filled with realization and horror when he did. "Raph and Donnie don't know, do they? They don't know that he's _abu-"_

"He's NOT!"

Leo's voice echoed through the hallway and his heart climbed into his throat. Any second now, Splinter would come rushing out of the dojo again and beat the everliving hell out of him for daring to make noise at this hour, or - God forbid - dragging Mikey into the mess that was his life.

But when nothing followed in the tense seconds after his denial, the turtle's bloodied shoulders relaxed. He breathed out, short and quick, and dragged his baby brother into the bathroom, locking the door behind them.

"He's not," the ninja said again, quieter this time. "He's training me, Mikey. He's teaching me how to cope with pain so that I can protect you guys better."

"But it's not your job to protect us," Mikey whispered, lower lip trembling. "It's Raph's job. He's the leader, isn't he? He protects us."

"And I protect him."

The desperate cover story seemed to get through to the youngest turtle; his mouth formed into a round 'o' and he furrowed his brow. "But...why don't the guys know?"

"Do you really think that Raph would like it if he knew Sensei assigned _him _a bodyguard?"

Another beat of silence and then Mikey chuckled a little. The tension eased out of Leo's body a little more at the sound. "Point taken. But bro...you gotta be careful, dude. You're a mess."

"And you're up way too late," Leo replied, only half-teasing. "Really, Mike, go to bed. It's almost two a.m.."

Michelangelo nodded, reassured by his brother's words. Even still, he paused on the way out of the bathroom. "You're...you're really okay?"

"I promise."

It was a word he never used, and all of his brothers knew the weight it carried, so it washed the worry right off of that freckled face. Finally, _finally, _a smile turned Mikey's lips upwards. "Okay. G'night, Leo."

"Goodnight."

The bathroom door closed again and Leo sank to the ground, hating himself for the lie, hating Mikey for abandoning him. But most of all, he hated his sensei for ever putting him in such a position that he couldn't even tell his own _brothers. _

Tears slid down his face and stung his open wounds and he welcomed the pain. It helped him forget...at least for a while.


	9. 9 - Bleeding Out

**Bleeding Out**

The next few days brought nothing but pain and heartache for the second-youngest turtle. Donnie was laid up in the infirmary, still as unconscious as he'd been when Raph rushed him home that fateful night after the Tiger Claw incident. He'd lost a considerable amount of blood but was expected to make a full recovery.

Leonardo, on the other hand, was slowly crumbling. His body was wearing down from the constant abuse and neglect and malnourishment that his master forced upon him...yet no one noticed - or if they did, they didn't question it. Even Mikey stopped asking.

Then, two weeks after Leo returned home, something changed. Donnie was finally up and moving (albeit a little slower than usual), Raph was back at the punching bag every spare second of the day, and Mikey had gone back to gaming near-constantly. And Leo...

Leo was doing whatever he could to distract himself from the horror and gravity of his situation. He had half a mind to run away as Tiger Claw had previously suggested, but he knew that if he did, Splinter would most definitely take everything out on Mikey. Mikey, who was still a tender thirteen years old and had a lot of childhood left ahead of him.

So he waited, and prayed that the hell he was going through now would soon be over.

Yet his prayer went unanswered.

On that fateful day, Leo was in the dojo finishing up his intense training regimen, when soft footsteps alerted him to someone's presence. He turned quickly - but not quickly enough.

The blow caught him by surprise and he went down hard, head spinning, hot blood welling in his mouth from where he'd bitten through his tongue. He gagged on it, choked until he came to reality enough to spit it out and draw a breath. Wide, fearful ocean eyes turned to the one who dealt the blow; hands went up in a defensive block.

"Sensei," he gasped out, trembling a little from adrenaline and terror. He recognized the crazed look on Splinter's face. Here was the anger he'd been expecting.

Here was the shadow, the promise of death.

The rat said nothing at first, just stared at him with those cold, hateful, beady eyes. Then he struck with all the force of a hurricane.

**TMNT/TMNT/TMNT**

"Hey, guys, has anyone seen Leo?"

Mikey and Donnie exchanged glances before looking at their leader. "Not recently," Donnie replied. He flipped his goggles back up onto his head and sat forward, abandoning his current project for the moment. "What's going on?"

"I can't find him," Raph admitted, furrowing his brow in concern. "Haven't seen him in a while and it worries me."

Mikey turned his attention back to his video game, fingers already moving at a rapid pace. "Did you check his room?"

"He hasn't been in there at all today."

"Kitchen? Pool?"

"Nothing."

"Dojo?"

Raph mentally face-palmed and immediately headed in that direction. _Duh_. How had he missed the well-known room? "Thanks."

**TMNT/TMNT/TMNT**

His footsteps echoed on the concrete; even his breathing seemed too loud, suddenly. "Leo? You in here?"

No response.

The red-banded turtle narrowed his eyes and took another step forward into the training space. A chill crept down his neck and he whipped around to face the opposite direction, but the bare stone walls were the only things that greeted him.

He sighed and stepped backwards. And promptly went rigid when his foot landed in something wet and sticky.

Raph slowly glanced down at his feet and nearly gagged. The puddle he'd managed to step in was dark red and smelled strongly of metal.

Warning bells shrieked in Raphael's mind. _Wrong_, his body screamed at him. _Find him. Find him._He didn't have to look very far.

Ten feet away in a crumpled pile on the floor lay Leonardo - and he wasn't breathing.


	10. 10 - Broken Lies

**Broken Lies**

Raph was screaming; he knew he was screaming, but he couldn't stop.

The noise drew the attention of Mikey and Donnie, who immediately came running. If Raph had been watching, he would've noticed that their father figure was suspiciously absent, but there was too much panic in his mind to register anything but the rapidly cooling blood on his skin and the too-cold body in his arms.

Mikey paled at the sheer amount of blood on the floor, and even Donnie swore under his breath. "Raph, what happened?!"

"I-I found him here, and- Donnie, what do we do?!"

"I don't know!"

"There's nothing in that genius brain of yours?"

"I'm an inventor, not a doctor," Don snapped, desperation and fear glinting like daggers in his deep brown eyes. "I can bandage a cut but so can everyone else here. I can't...I don't know how to fix _this!" _He gestured vaguely, helplessly, at his comatose sibling.

The red-banded leader swallowed against the wave of tears threatening to cascade down his cheeks. "There has to be someone who can help us. A doctor, vet, _someone-"_

"A vet?! Raph, _look _at us! They'll bleed us dry before they stitch him up!"

"Well I got nothing else, okay?! He's fucking bleeding out and there ain't a damn thing I can do about it!" His voice broke and the first tear slipped from his eyes. "I can't save him," he whispered. "I can't...Donnie-"

Leo moaned softly and turned a shade paler, and the room went so quiet that they could've heard a pin drop.

Mikey spoke up first. "What about Hueso?" Donnie and Raph turned to look at him, the latter looking much like he was slipping into a coma himself, and the thirteen-year-old crossed his arms defensively. "I mean, he's gotta know something, right? He's living in the Mystic City. There's gotta be a...a mutant doctor or something."

"Yokai," his brainy brother correctly absently. "Raph, that could work. In fact...it sounds like the only chance we have." _We may have already lost our chance. _

"I can't lose him, D," Raph murmured. His mask was soaked with moisture, but no one commented on the fact. Now was not the time.

"Then let's get going. We can't waste anymore time."

**ROTTMNT**

It took ten minutes to get down to Run of the Mill Pizza, and five minutes more to locate Hueso in the crowd of shocked yokai. The turtles had bound up their brother's wounds as best they could, but the blood loss was definitely getting worse.

"Hueso!"

The skeleton looked surprised to see them - and more surprised to see the unconscious, bloody form in Raph's arms. "Get into a fight you could not win? Hmm. Who knew that the unstoppable tortugas were not so unstoppable after all?"

_I was too__ slow,_ Raphael thought vaguely - and then he kicked himself for the pun. Slow turtles. That was a Leo-level joke.

The resident hothead was two seconds from breaking. His arms trembled from the effort of holding Leo for so long, but he didn't dare put him down. "Cut the crap, Bone Man. I know you and Leo got some kinda bond, so if you ever cared about him at all, please help him now. Please. I-I got nowhere else to go, and I can't lose my brother."

Hueso stared at them all for a long moment and then sighed. "Very well. I will help your friend. But know this: the outlook is bleak. He may not survive the night."

**ROTTMNT**

True to Mikey's predictions, Hueso called a doctor in to help his young friend. The doctor hurriedly set about stabilizing Leonardo and Donnie fluttered about in an effort to gain as much knowledge as possible while lending all the aid he could. Raph and Mikey waited anxiously on the sidelines, hoping against hope that their brother would be all right.

An hour passed and Raph began to notice that something was definitely off with his youngest brother. He cast an appraising eye on the yellow-painted turtle and studied his tense movements, constant shifting, and - most of all - the absolute silence. To anyone else it would've seemed that Michelangelo was bored. But it was Raph's job to take care of his family, and that meant knowing when something was wrong.

"Leo will pull through," Raph said finally, nudging the quiet turtle.

Mikey nodded mutely and glanced over at the flurry of activity. He caught a flash of red-drenched green skin and turned a sickly shade of green himself.

The red-banded leader frowned. _He's never this squeamish around blood. _"All right, spill. Something is eating at you, so what is it?"

"I...can we talk? Like, privately?"

"Sure."

Mikey led his oldest sibling away a few feet, just out of earshot of the others, and wrapped his arms around himself. "There's...there's something I should've told you guys earlier, something I saw a couple weeks ago." He shifted uncertainly, suddenly looking much younger than his thirteen years. "The night after we brought Leo back from Tiger Claw's apartment, I woke up around one o'clock. I was heading to the kitchen to get some water when I heard a voice coming from the dojo. It was Dad, and he sounded really angry."

Oh, Raphael could guess where this was going, and it made his blood boil. But he had to let Mike finish talking - this had obviously been weighing heavily on the kid's mind for a long time and it was starting to take its toll.

Before the energetic ninja could continue, however, their discussion was interrupted by an exhausted-looking Donatello.

"Leo's stable," the genius announced wearily, smiling nonetheless. "He's gonna make it, you guys. He's going to pull through."

Relief coursed through Raph so immediately and completely that he sagged to the floor - and if he shed a few tears, who was to say?

The relief was dampened by the knowledge that he'd have to get a confession out of his unconscious sibling whenever he finally awoke.

And when he did, there was going to be hell to pay.


	11. 11 - Shattered Truth

**Shattered Truth**

His eyes opened and when his surroundings slowly came into view, his heart skipped a beat. He was lying in a field of sweet-smelling grasses and there was a cool breeze blowing across his unmasked face.

For the first time in his young life, Leonardo felt completely at ease, although he couldn't remember for the life of him how he got there. He probably would have stayed in the same position forever if he hadn't heard footsteps.

The ninja rolled over onto his plastron and peeked through the tall grass with narrowed eyes, but no one was there.

The laughter made him fairly jump out of his skin, and he flipped again to see a tall bearded man with sparkling eyes. "Hello, Leonardo."

"I'm sorry, have we...do I know you?"

"You may not know me, but I certainly know _you_. You are the second-youngest of four brothers, presided over by your elderly rodent father figure, who also happens to be a former martial arts master and television star. For the past several years, said father figure has been abusing you very harshly and going to great lengths to hide that particular fact."

A sweat had broken out across Leo's brow throughout the explanation of his personal life, and the cool breeze suddenly seemed too cold. "Who the heck _are _you?"

"You may call me Alistair, but I am not a _who_, Leonardo_. _I am not a man, as you first suspected. I am nothing more than a guide on this spiritual plane. And you, my young friend, are at a crossroads."

The fourteen-year-old scowled, scooting a bit further from him. "What do you mean?"

"If you fall asleep right now, you'll never see your brothers again. At least not on Earth."

For a brief moment, the world seemed to flicker - Leonardo could almost_ swear_ he heard voices calling his name - and then it righted itself.

"I-I don't understand. My brothers are _here_, aren't they?"

"I'm afraid not, young one. You are in The In Between, and that is somewhere that your family cannot reach you."

Leo felt a surge of panic, and once again the world flickered.

_"-think he's coming out of it-"_

Just as quickly as it had come, the voice disappeared. Alistair hadn't moved a muscle. "Your body was badly injured," he explained quietly. "You're in a state of limbo right now, which is why you are here. Whether you choose to stay or go will affect whether or not you see your brothers once again."

Never see his brothers again? "How do I get to them?"

The man smiled again, sadly, and looked up at a sky that didn't seem quite as blue as before. "You must go back."

"Go back where?"

"Back to the world. But be warned, Leonardo. Your world is a world of pain and sorrow, and it will only grow worse for you. If you remain here, you will be at peace."

Leo glanced at his hands, unscarred and perfect for the first time since he was a child. "How can I be at peace without my brothers?" he murmured. A tear rolled down his cheek and he exhaled softly. "I want to go back."

"You will not be able to return," Alistair warned. "Even if something happens to you, your fate will have changed and you will not have access to this In Between any longer."

_Lose eternal peace or lose my brothers? _The choice was easier than he'd thought it would be. "Send me home."

"So be it." There was a flash of light, and as it faded Leonardo heard the man's voice one last time. _"Take courage and be strong, young one. You have chosen well. All is not yet lost."_

**ROTTMNT**

The first thing he was aware of was the agonizing pain crawling up and down his body, inside his shell and skin and veins.

_That means-_

Leo opened his eyes slowly, giving himself time to adjust to his surroundings (which, for some reason, looked like Hueso's _casa_ \- only this time, there was more medical equipment and an unconscious Raphael slumped at his bedside.)

For a moment, the injured turtle simply laid there and drank in the sight of his oldest brother. Raphael looked exhausted, if the circles under his eyes were anything to go by, and- were those _tear stains _on his mask?

_What the actual shell happened?_

Deciding that he wanted some answers, Leo tried to speak, but the first syllable turned into an abrupt coughing fit as his dry throat protested. Raph's eyes flew open and he fell backwards off of his chair, completely disoriented.

"Ow! Sonofa- Leo?" In two seconds flat, the leader's voice went from boisterous to timid, and he hesitantly climbed back up until he was eye-level with his brother. "Holy shit! You're awake! How do you...uh...how do you feel?"

Leo swallowed back another cough. "I mean, it feels like my organs were ripped out and rearranged, and it hurts to breathe, but otherwise not terrible." He was trying to make a lighthearted joke out of the situation, but given everything that had happened, it fell quite flat. His words met with a pained expression from his leader and he felt his cheeks color in something like shame. "Raph, I-"

And then he couldn't speak, because there were strong arms around him, crushing him into solid, scarred keratin, and there were tears on his head and face and neck, mixing so it wasn't clear where Raphael's ended and his began, and his heart climbed up into his throat to prevent him from saying another word.

"Don't you ever_,_" Raph choked out, "_Ever _do that to me again, do you understand me? Never again."

"I-"

"Never. Again. Promise me."

"I-I promise."

Apparently satisfied, the red-clad turtle sat back and wiped the salt off of his face, then cleared his throat. "There's something that we, uh...we need to discuss."

Leo's heart sank. He had a feeling that he knew _exactly _what his brother wanted to discuss, and it definitely wasn't going to be pretty. "Raph-"

"I've been putting this off for a long time, Leo - too long, and look where it got you. I should've brought it up months ago when I first noticed but I hoped I was wrong. And then this happened and...and we almost lost you. _I _almost lost you. And it would've been my fault."

_Badbadbadbad_\- "Raph, don't-"

"How long has he been doing this to you, Leo? How long has he been abusing you like this?"

Raph knew. Raph_ knew_ and he had spoken it _out loud _and if Raph knew and Leo was here at Hueso's it meant that _everyone _knew...which meant that it was all over.

The world ground to a halt and Leonardo's shoulders slumped. Hot tears stung at his eyes and he dropped his gaze to the floor.

"How long?" Raph repeated, gently this time.

"Five years."

The larger turtle turned positively ashen. Five years. Five _years. _Leo had been abused for the past five years and no one even noticed.

"I...I couldn't say anything. He told me...he said that if I told anyone, then he'd get rid of me and go after Mikey."

That did it.

For the first time in years, Raphael's vision went red. He stood so fast that his chair hit the ground as he made for the door. Leo frantically grabbed for him but missed.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to have a little talk with Splinter."

"You can't!" Desperation ripped the words from Leonardo's throat. His brother froze and turned to look at him. Saw the tears in his eyes. "Raph, you can't. He'll... he'll hurt you, or Mikey, or... or-"

Raph's eyes softened, then, but his expression and voice remained steely. "He won't touch any of us ever again," he swore.

Then he was gone, and Leo was alone with crippling doubt and a massive feeling of dread.


	12. 12 - The Cost of Victory

**The Cost of Victory**

As Raphael stormed out of the room like a hurricane intent on destruction, Don and Mikey entered. Donnie took one glance at his oldest brother's stony face and turned his attention to an injured, pale Leonardo - who was, at the moment, trying desperately to follow their leader.

"Leo, stop!" Donnie barked, rushing to the bedside. "You were hurt-"

"Really badly, I know," Leo finished abruptly. "But Raph is gonna get himself_ killed, _Don! I have to stop him!"

At his words, both able-bodied ninja froze. Mikey fixed a stricken gaze on Leo's face. "What?"

"No time to explain. You guys have to get to the Lair _now._"

Icy dread coated Donnie's veins and he grabbed Mikey's hand, hurrying through the doorway again without protest. There could only be one reason that Raph had stormed off like that - and if they didn't hurry, their little family might lose another member.

Relief flashed through Leo's mind for a brief second and then it was gone. He was filled with nothing but certainty, and something like despair. He alone knew how their father truly thought, acted, spoke.

Leonardo might have just sent his brothers to their deaths.

* * *

Donatello and Michelangelo arrived to find the Lair dead silent. Most of the lights were off, but the pair could see well enough to notice the overturned furniture, shattered television screen, and ripped sofa cushions.

The only light on in the entire place appeared to be the fluorescents in the dojo, so they quietly made their way towards the sacred room...only to find their oldest brother locked in a staring match with their father. On Raphael's face was the most terrifying expression Mikey and Don had ever seen.

"Raph," Mikey's voice cut through the horrible silence, his tone raw and watery and afraid. "What's going on?"

But the question went unanswered as the brawler stared down at the person he'd called 'father' for the past twenty-five years, gesturing wildly to his present brothers. "Do they know? Do they know what you '_sacrificed' _for them?"

Splinter narrowed his eyes up at his eldest, tail flicking with something - fear. Raph could smell it. "I will not speak to you when you are in such a state-"

"Answer the damn question! Tell them what you did, you sick-minded freak! Tell them the ugly truth!"

"It was necessary!" the rat insisted vehemently. "It was the only thing that enabled you to survive! You are my sons-"

"HE'S YOUR SON TOO!" Raph roared, and his control snapped. He shot forward, aiming straight for Splinter's throat. "HE'S YOUR _SON _AND HE _LOVED YOU__!_ HE LOOKED UP TO YOU AND ALL YOU EVER DID WAS _HURT_ HIM!"

Slowly, comprehension began to dawn on Donnie's face - he'd finally gotten the confirmation he wanted. The resident genius looked horrified and he backed away from Splinter even as his oldest brother fought the smaller mutant. "No," Don whispered. He'd assumed the situation as he and Raph understood it was correct, but to _know _that it was really the truth... He swallowed and reached for the wall to try and brace himself; the whole world seemed to be shaking under his feet and he was pretty sure he was going to throw up.

Mikey, meanwhile, was just trying to process Raph's words. Sensing his confusion, a panting Splinter ducked behind him in hopes of convincing him that Raphael was wrong. "Michelangelo," the rodent coaxed softly. "Michelangelo, your brother is lying. I would never do anything to hurt you boys."

_Raph would never lie to me. _The thirteen-year-old's gaze flicked from his father's face to Raph's and back again.

And something clicked.

He inhaled and his breath caught in his throat. The bruises. The constant fear. The unexplainable flinching. The training session he'd witnessed the other night. The shaky promise that his brother had made - a promise that now rang so very, very false. "You...you abused him," he whispered. "Didn't you? You really abused him."

The rodent's hand tightened on his cane. "I taught him how to be strong. I taught him that failure has consequences. I taught him that only the strongest can survive. Is there something so criminal about that?"

"You hurt him," is all Mikey could say. Tears gathered in his eyes and his lower lip trembled.

"I _protected you," _Splinter snapped. "I _raised _you! I kept you _safe _for sixteen years, and this is how you repay me? Betrayal?"

Mikey took one step backwards. Then another, and another. The dam broke and the tears cascaded down his cheeks but he kept going, because _Splinter_ hadn't protected them. _He_ hadn't raised them. _He_ hadn't kept them safe. _Leo _had done all that. And what's more, he'd done all that to keep Splinter from harming _them_, too.

Rage, pure and unadulterated, made Splinter's eyes glint. He bared his teeth, snarling, and dropped low in a crouch. The three brothers had mere seconds of warning before he leapt, clawed hands wrapped tight around his unsheathed katana-

-and met a wall of panting, bleeding, _howling _blue and green.

* * *

The battle was over before it had truly begun.

Silence fell on the dojo, so thick they could've heard a pin drop. There was blood soaking into the straw mats under their feet, and the stench of it hung in the air, and nobody moved a single muscle. Raph was still standing in front of his younger brothers, arms stretched out across each of their bodies to shield them. Donnie and Mikey still had tears in their eyes and hands on their weapons.

And in front of them all was Leonardo, his _odachi _gleaming in all its wicked glory, the edge dripping with crimson.

"Stay. Away. From my. _Brothers," _he growled, in a voice so low and terrifying that it would haunt Mikey for weeks afterwards.

The trembling form on the ground spat out a mouthful of blood and fixed a hateful gaze on his face. _"K__usottare_," he hissed.

Mikey flinched and Raph started forward but Leo stopped him with a shake of his head, not even looking at him, but kept his eyes focused on his adversary the entire time. "You are not welcome here anymore," he said in that awful voice. "I disown you and ban you from our home." His words grew even darker and his brothers didn't have to see his face to know that it was twisted into an expression of intense rage and fierce protection. "If you ever dare to come near us again, I will not hesitate to end your pathetic life. Are we clear?"

Nothing. Just those eyes boring into him.

A tremor ran through Leo's shoulders but he didn't falter. "Are we _absolutely fucking clear?_" he snapped again, tightening his grip on his sword.

And finally, _finally, _the person who used to be their father nodded and got to his feet, taking careful, measured steps towards the doorway. Then he was gone and the Lair door ground shut a moment later.

"Raph," the injured fourteen-year-old said sharply, "Make sure he really left."

The brawler was out of the room faster than he'd ever run in his life. He returned quickly, giving confirmation that Splinter was indeed gone.

Only then did Leo allow himself to lower his guard.

Only then did his knees hit the ground and his face crumple and his eyes well up with tears he hadn't let fall.

Only then did he weep, not just for himself but for his brothers who had lost their father and sensei.

Only then did his brothers wrap him in a hug as he drifted into the gathering, welcoming oblivion.

* * *

**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

_If this chapter seemed a bit rushed or sudden after the last one, it's because I originally wrote this to follow a different "discovery" scene. Obviously, this book took a different turn than I expected it to take (haha). If you guys are interested at all, I'd be happy to post the alternate chapters at the end of the book._

_And speaking of which, we are drawing rather close now. There will be somewhere between five and ten more chapters (not counting the bonus/alternate chapters). I can't believe this book is already coming to an end - and I can't believe that you've all supported me so much in this (stupid) AU idea. _

_To be completely honest with you, I rather enjoy the 2019 version of Master Splinter, and I think he's a little more...er...loving towards his sons. Does he meet the bar like 2003 and 2012 Splinter do? Not quite. But I still enjoy him._

_Anyway, long note for some very random facts/updates. _

_Please review. I really enjoy reading them, and your comments/thoughts encourage me to keep writing. _


	13. 13 - Hidden Horrors

**Hidden Horrors**

"I think we should take a trip," Mikey announced one morning at the breakfast table. It had been just over two weeks since the showdown with Splinter, and even though everyone knew that there was no hope of returning to the way it used to be, they were nowhere near close to being better. Raph was constantly on edge, Donnie was always fidgeting with a marker or pencil (one of his nervous habits), and Leo had withdrawn into himself and barely said two words together since that night.

But Michelangelo's statement brought the already suffocating silence to a crescendo. His brothers stared at him for a long moment, blinked, and stared some more.

"Care to expand on that, champ?" Donnie tried half-heartedly.

Mikey remained undaunted. "We could all use a break, and I think a change of scenery would do us all good."

Leo said nothing, but Raphael noticed that his eyes began to sparkle a little at the suggestion. "Do you have a place in mind?" the clan leader prodded, wanting desperately to keep that gleam in his brother's eyes.

"Well, actually..."

* * *

"Really? There?"

Mikey beamed and nodded emphatically. "Sure! North Brother Island is totally abandoned. We could hang out there for _weeks_ without anyone noticing."

"And probably pick up a half-dozen illnesses while we're there," Donnie muttered. "Mikey, North Brother Island was abandoned for a reason. They used to use the island as a quarantine for sick people. Typhoid, smallpox- mmph!"

His mahogany eyes were murderous behind Raph's large hand. The leader shrugged. "I say it's worth a shot. If you ask me, Leo could really use a getaway. Being here probably doesn't bring back great memories for him."

Donnie managed to pry his face free and shook his head. "If there are any traces of bacteria there - not to mention the _mold, _Raph, I didn't even _think _about that-"

"So we camp outside. 'Sides, the place has been abandoned for over sixty years, right? Any germs woulda died off already. Any other objections?"

Raphael's gaze roamed across each of the faces before him, searching for any signs of dissent, and when he found none he grinned.

"Alright. Let's get packing."

* * *

It took depressingly little time for Leo to pack a bag; what meager possessions he owned, he carried around on his person - his odachi, his mask, and his belt and pads. There was nothing in his room that he wanted to take with him. Nothing that was truly _his. _

His brothers looked at him strangely when he limped out into the main room carrying nothing but an old blanket and a pillow from the guest room.

"Uh...Leo, aren't you...aren't you forgetting some stuff?" Donnie ventured hesitantly. "Maybe a book to read, or your iPod to listen to on the way there?" The blue-banded ninja mumbled a response and Don leaned forward. "Sorry, I didn't catch that."

"I said I don't _have _anything to take with me." The admittance made his cheeks burn red with shame and his eyes water and he wanted nothing more than to disappear forever, because now they were all staring at him full-on, and Mikey was biting his lip, and Raph looked like he wanted to murder someone.

"What?" Raph growled in the low voice he only used when he was truly angry...or upset.

Leo paled at the tone and tried to backtrack, hoping for all the world that he hadn't just pissed off his big brother. "I mean it's fine, guys, I don't need stuff anyway, this will be easier for me to carry-"

"Shut up," the leader snapped, and Leo did - and then he scrambled to keep up as Raph stormed upstairs to the bedrooms.

"Raph, don't-"

But it was too late; the damage was already done. His red-masked sibling slammed his door open and stood there, silently taking in the nearly empty room beyond. Golden eyes flashed as they saw the thin straw mat that served as a bed, the utter lack of light, and-

-and were those _manacles _hanging from the wall?


	14. 14 - No Rest for the Weary

A/N: Swearing/language warning.

**No Rest for the Weary**

_Golden eyes flashed as they saw the thin straw mat that served as a poor excuse for a bed, the utter lack of light inside the room, and-_

_-and were those **manacles **hanging on the wall?_

* * *

There were manacles on the wall. There were_ manacles _on the wall.

_That rat_ _chained my brother_ _to the_ _fucking wall_-

And it wasn't just once - if the rust and dried blood on the metal cuffs were anything to go by, that is.

Blood roared in Raphael's ears, drowning out all logical thought. His vision flashed red. He was going to _kill _someone.

Leo swallowed hard. "...Raph…?"

"..."

"Raph, I'm sorry."

The eldest flinched like he'd been slapped; the red receded from his eyesight and he turned a startled gaze on Leonardo. "You...what?"

"I said I'm s-"

"I heard what you said, I just..." Raph dragged a hand down his face and laughed, but the sound was raw and brimming with pain. "_Fuck, _Leo, how can you stand there and apologize to me when you were surrounded by _this _for so many years?" He swept a hand outwards at the barren room, and Leo was surprised to see his eyes glint with moisture. "You went through hell, and you're _apologizing for it. _To _me, _of all people."

"I-I thought I did something wrong," Leo stammered, and his brother made that awful sound again, somewhere between a chuckle and a half-sob.

"You did absolutely nothing wrong. This is...this is on me. I was supposed to protect you and I-I fucked up. I didn't...I couldn't..._fuck, _Leo, I'm so sorry."

And because he didn't know what else to do, Leonardo laughed. He laughed until the awkward sounds turned into full-blown breathlessness, and then into great heaving gasps, and salty liquid coursed down his cheeks and his knees gave out and he collapsed to the cold concrete floor. Something popped in his side and there was warmth running down the tender space between his shell and his skin, but he didn't stop gasping until Raph's strong arms surrounded him and he knew that he was safe.

"You're an idiot," Leo told him then, and buried his face in his big brother's neck, because for the first time in his life he was free to do so.

* * *

They pulled out of the Lair at eleven PM the next day, and by the time dawn broke over the horizon they were well on their way to setting up camp on North Brother Island.

After his breakdown the night before, Leo had spent the next few hours getting lectured by a furious and worried Donatello as the genius stitched him back up.

_"I understand that you and Raph had to have a very-long-overdue moment, but gods above, Leo, did you _have _to tear out your stitches like this?" _

While the blue-banded ninja was in the lab, Michelangelo flitted around the Lair, gathering various and sundry belongings for his older brother. It wasn't until the three least-injured turtles were sitting around a fire on the island that he confessed what he'd found.

Leo had gone to bed as soon as they'd pitched their tents, but Mikey took a furtive glance around to make certain before he spoke. "Raph, you remember how you told us that Leo's room is completely empty?"

He hadn't told them about the chains - there was no way that Mikey could handle that knowledge - but just the thought of them made the leader's blood boil. "Yeah, what about it?"

"I went into Da- Splinter's room yesterday, and it was...everything was in there. Leo's iPod, his bedroll, his action figures and posters, even his art supplies. Splinter took _everything _from him." His baby-blues glinted with tears; he swiped a hand across his cheeks in an effort to hide that fact from his older siblings.

A low, visceral growl tore from Raphael's throat and his hands clenched into fists. "That son of a...he better count himself damn lucky that Leo is the one who dealt with him and not me, otherwise he'd be a pile of bones right now."

Mikey blanched and reached out to grab Donnie's hand, startling the intellectual mutant out of the trance he'd fallen into. "What? Sorry, I was just thinking."

"About?"

Don sighed and rubbed at his eyes as if trying to mask his exhaustion. "What did Leo do to make Splinter snap like that? Why did he get picked out of the four of us? What made him so different?"

But nobody could answer those questions, and the brothers all fell into an uncomfortable silence, staring into the flames before them.


	15. 15 - Campfire Confessions

**Campfire Confessions**

"Psst, Donnie? Hey, Donnie. Are you awake?"

The genius cracked open his eyes and checked the time on his phone; 2:13 AM glared up at him from the screen. He stifled a sigh and rolled over to face his youngest brother. "What is it, Mikey?"

Mikey's eyes were wide and bloodshot, like he'd been awake all this time. "D'you think...d'you think that Splinter hated Leo?"

That was a question that the purple-clad brainiac was not at all prepared to answer - especially not without coffee in his sluggish system - but he sat up anyway and pulled Mikey into a hug. "I don't know, Mike...I don't think he hated Leo. I just...there was something not right in Splinter's mind, something that nobody noticed. That's all."

"...Raph said that Leo told him he was being abused for the past five years."

A sour taste filled Donnie's mouth. Five years? He knew it had been a while, but...five _years?_

"He was so alone," Don murmured, not intending for his baby brother to hear - but hear him Mikey did.

"We're bad people, aren't we?"

The question floored him, sent him spiraling into a dark hole of doubt and fear and so much anguish. "Oh, no, Mikey, no, we...we're not...where did _that_ come from?"

Mikey picked at a blade of grass, twirling it in his fingers as he searched for the right answer. "I dunno, I just...if we lived with him all that time and didn't even notice, what kind of brothers are we?"

For the first time in his life, Donatello had no answer.

* * *

Leonardo awoke to the murmur of voices and the crackle of a fire. There was sunlight streaming through his tent already, but judging by the light chill in the air, it was still morning.

The teen emerged from the tent, yawning sleepily, and was immediately greeted by three warm smiles.

Mikey shoved a plate of food in his direction, and he glanced down at it to see something he hadn't eaten in a very long time. "Holy sonofa mother...is that _bacon?"_

"The one and only," his baby brother replied, hoping that Leo wouldn't notice how his voice trembled and his eyes were unnaturally bright. For the injured turtle to be so in awe of something that the rest of them ate so often...it hit hard.

It made Mikey wonder exactly what else Splinter took from his sibling. Possessions were one thing, and food was apparently another, but he shudders to think of what other horrors the rat had inflicted on the bravest of them all.

Little did he, or any of them, realize just how good Leonardo had become at keeping secrets hidden behind a smile.

**A/N: The next secret that comes out is going to be ugly, and definitely more mature - anyone want to take a stab at what else Splinter might have done to our blue boy? **


	16. The Ugliest of Truths

_A/N: Guys, this chapter was hard to write, both because of the mature content within and because I wanted to take my time and portray Leonardo's feelings/thoughts as accurately as possible given the situation._

Again_, this chapter contains mature, adult themes and heavy subject matter. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK._

**The**** Ugliest of Truths**

"I don't know if this is a good idea, Leo."

The blue-banded turtle glanced from Donnie to the others to seek help pleading his cause. Raph looked askance. The only one who seemed to support him was Michelangelo, who was nodding, grinning, and giving a thumbs up.

"Looks like you're outvoted," Raph mused. His face softened, then, and he placed a hand on Leo's shoulder. "We're trying to keep you safe and healthy, bro. Once you're healed, I'm all for you hiking up to the main hospital. But until then-"

"Whatever," the blue-banded turtle mumbled, jerking his body away from his sibling's touch. He ducked his head and trudged away from the campsite, walking down to the water's edge and taking a seat on the cool ground.

They didn't understand. He knew that. Until they'd been locked up for years, tortured, and_ worse _by the person who was supposed to protect them, they would never understand how it felt to be so close to freedom, but still so far.

It was driving him crazy.

Maybe if they knew... No. Never in a million years. That truth would never willingly pass his lips. It was too horrible - and too shameful.

Leo's cheeks flushed with red as he remembered.

* * *

_"Sensei, please-" His words were muffled but the rat understood them anyway._

_"You may beg all you wish, but it will get you nowhere. On your knees."_

_Hot tears filled Leo's eyes and he furiously blinked them away. He would** not **cry. Crying only made it worse._

_"Now!"_

_The cold leather strap cracked against his arm and he cried out through the gag, falling to the ground and nearly snapping his wrist as he caught himself on his hands. _

_One clawed finger traced the delicate skin under his jaw as Splinter leaned in close. "Remember this: if you want to keep Michelangelo safe, you will do** exactly** what I say. Is that understood, Leonardo?"_

_He never got an opportunity to respond, because those eyes bored into him and something was tearing apart inside of him and it burned hot enough to make him gag-_

* * *

He retched into the sand, eyes watering, arms trembling. His brothers crowded around him asking questions he couldn't - _wouldn't_ \- answer.

"_You can't keep me here__!__"_ The words echoed in his head, shouted, razor-sharp.

"We're not trying to keep you here," Raph responded frantically. "Just tell me what's wrong!"

But he was beyond their reach, rocking back and forth on his knees as the memories - the voice - clawed at his mind.

And then there was silence.

* * *

When his eyes finally opened again, he found that he was buried under every blanket they'd brought with them on the trip, and a weary-looking older brother was once again sitting beside him.

"Mind telling me what that was about?" Raph asked tiredly.

Leo tried to play it cool, he really did, but sometimes he was an awful liar. "What, you mean earlier? I was just tired, haha. I should probably get some more sleep, anyway, so if you don't mind-"

"Leonardo."

His full name. Gods above.

"Look at me."

No.

"Leo, _look at me."_

Leo's gaze shifted over, away, and back again. His lips trembled and his eyes stung as he finally met Raphael's unwavering stare. "I- Raph, I_ can't-"_

"Yes you_ can, _Leo. He can't hurt you anymore."

_But Mikey- _

It was always Mikey. Always.

"If- if I tell you, you can't tell Mike. He _can't_ _know_, Raphael."

That got his leader's attention. The bigger turtle leaned forward, suddenly dead serious. "I promise."

"Splinter, he- he-" The words hurt, somehow, like a betrayal of confidence. Shameful. Wrong. "He touched me."

That was easier, somehow, than saying the actual word.

"He...what?"

"You heard what I said." The bedridden ninja flushed. _Don't make me spell it out._

"Yeah, but- touched you_ how?"_

Self-loathing and fear and a thousand other negative emotions swirled inside him. _Please just understand. _But Raph was silently waiting, staring uncomprehendingly at him, and Leo cursed his luck. These next few words would change everything, he knew.

"Raph, Splinter...raped me."


	17. 17 - So Close

**So Close**

_"Raph, Splinter...raped me."_

For all intents and purposes, the whole world might have been frozen; neither ninja moved. Neither ninja blinked.

Raph clenched his teeth so hard that his jaw ached. His vision tinged red and his hearing cut out - and if it weren't for the sob that somehow made it through his haze, he would've probably done something irreparable.

But Leo was shaking like a leaf, with the most utterly heartbreaking look on his pale face, and in that moment Raphael wouldn't have left his side for anything. "I'm s-sorry," the smaller turtle was saying tearfully. "I know it's gro-oss and wr-wrong but I couldn't _stop _him and he threatened_ Mikey _and I couldn't le-let him touch him, Raph, and I know you probably don't even want to loo-ook at me anymore but ple-ease don't lea-eave-"

By the end of his stumbling, stuttering, tearful confession, Raph could barely make out the words, but it didn't matter.

"You think I'm gonna leave? Why?"

"He sa-aid that everyone would leave m-me if they found ou-out, but I couldn't le-et him do it to M-Mikey. I'm sorry I didn't sto-op him-"

"Leo, hold on! You don't need to apologize for- _g__ods, _Leo, you were frikkin' _raped _and you're apologizing to_ me _for it!"

This conversation was too familiar for Raphael's liking - far too similar to the one held in Leo's "bedroom" before their trip.

The beefy turtle wondered something, then, and he wasn't quite sure he wanted to know the answer. "...how many times?"

"W-What?" Leo hiccuped, trying to wipe his face off on blankets that were too sodden to be of much use.

"How many times did he _hurt _you like...like _that?"_

The younger mutant was silent for so long that Raph thought he had fallen asleep. "Just once."

_How can such a good ninja be such a bad liar? _Raphael wondered distantly. "Leonardo..."

There was another long pause, as if Leo was deciding exactly what to divulge, and then came the quiet, heartbreaking answer. "I stopped counting after forty-three."

"Forty-three," Raph repeated.

His brother nodded dully, not quite meeting his eyes.

_Gods above. _Leo had been sexually abused since he was _nine years old. _

Oblivious to Raphael's mental torment, Leo soldiered on in his shaky explanation. "Look, I didn't- if I stopped him, he would've gone for Mike instead, and I couldn't- I_ wouldn't_ let that happen, Raph. Not while I had any control over the situation." Leo bit his lip and curled up, hugging his knees to his plastron. "I'm sorry that you guys have to deal with the fallout."

Eventually, the smaller mutant gathered the courage to look up - but instead of the disgust or hatred or any of the other emotions he'd expected to see on his brother's face, he saw only a sort of horrified shock tempered by a fair amount of... admiration?

"I wish the whole world could see how brave you are..."

Leonardo flinched as if he'd been slapped. His expression grew deathly pale and still and cold. "Don't call me that," he whispered, climbing to his feet. Before any questions could be voiced, he bolted through the entrance of the tent, past a startled Mikey and Donnie-

-and disappeared into the gathering darkness of the surrounding woods.

"Leo!" Mikey cried out in dismay. He would've followed were it not for the firm grip Donnie had on his forearm.

"What did you say to him?" the genius demanded as he turned to face their leader without relinquishing his hold. His eyes snapped with fire, and Raphael shrank at the sight.

"I-I didn't say anything! We were just talking and then he got this weird look on his face and ran."

Mikey was as pale as a ghost. "What are we gonna do?" he shakily asked. "It's getting dark and- and- what if something happens to him?"

"We'll go after him in the morning," Donnie replied firmly. "It's too late now. He's smart. He can manage."

The end of his sentence went unsaid, but they all knew what he was thinking.

_I hope._


End file.
